Almighty Remus
by Redviness
Summary: Marauder Era! Penelope is just making it through fourth year. A crazy mother, pretentious classmates, and the Marauders of course. This summary makes no sense, I know.
1. Chapter 1  Party Hard

_Author's note!_

_Normally I will put this at the bottom. But please read this... please? I always read them... Anyways, I hated the original first chapter. It was Remus and my OC at a party, awkward, not funny, and not believable. I wrote it at 1 AM because I thought I should try to write a fanfiction (Oh, this is my first fanfiction by the way...), but it just sucks! The __rest of the story doesn't though, or at least in my opinion it doesn't. Alright, let's go._

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><p>"I don't want to go to a party!" I yelled. "HAVE MERCY, WOMAN!" I'm not much of a pleader, but I'm all out of options. I <em>did not <em> want to go to some party where my mum would introduce me to everyone, and they would all say "Oh, you have such a pretty daughter!" and I'd be thinking "_Yeah right old woman, you have cataracts._"

"Penelope, you have to go. Marian Potter is one of my best friends!" I think my mum was using a pleading tone. Argh, I can't disobey mother dearest.

"Fine, but I refuse to wear a dress! Or a skirt! Or _dress pants!_" I think I'd rather wear a dress than those fugly pants.

"Just wear a casual dress, nothing frilly like last time. I promise!" By last time, she meant at the Ministry Ball my grandmother took me to. Shiver. Ever since then, I trusted no one with a dress. Even though my mom was pretty lenient.

"OKAY! OKAY, fine. But please don't do my makeup. Or my hair." My mum always tried to curl my hair, or make me wear sparkly eyeshadow. My hair was fine! It's straight and just above my shoulders, but it has body is choppy. I don't wear makeup either, I don't trust that lady with a mascara brush.

She frowned, but nodded and walked out of my room.

Now time to decide on my clothes. I'm thinking grey sundress and white flats. Daring, Penelope. Daring. Maybe I'll put some wax in my hair and make it sort of messy looking, mum would like that. And of course, some eyeliner or something.

While I get ready, I should take some time to warn you. I am nerdy. I am socially awkward. BUT, I'm in Ravenclaw and they say I'm a good time. Wink wink. No, not really. They say I'm unintentionally funny. That's worth something, right?

"Oh, Marian! I haven't seen you in ages!" My mom ran to hug her friend. Ages? You mean 2 weeks, right?

"Sherri! How's the pub?" She asked. My mom owns a wizarding pub called "The Wicked Witch of London." I always thought that name was pretty awesome myself.

The two adult socialites continued their small talk for a while. I sat, bored, at the food table. They had this really good dip that I was NOT going to pass up. I was glancing around when I saw that group of Gryffindors walk out of the gigantic Potter Manor. There was the slightly off one with glasses (I'm one to talk, I have glasses myself), the tall one that the girls loved (give me a break), the bookish one, and the creepy fat one. I didn't know them too well because of the house difference, the age difference, and my (as previously stated) social awkwardness.

They were heading towards the food table. Oh no, my mom is going to try to introduce me or something. Or I'm going to be in their way and they'll say excuse me and I'll say sorry and it will just be terribly awkward. Damn you, social anxiety!

Time to make my escape. I start humming the James Bond theme subconsciously (I tend to hum without realizing it. When I do realize, I hum louder.) and tiptoed over to my mother, clinging to her from behind like a shy little girl. I'm only 14, I can still do this.

"Oh, Marian! Here's Penelope, you haven't seen her for almost a year!" DAMMIT MOM. Plus, I saw her in June. It's only August, that's two months you crazy woman.

"Penelope, you sure have grown up!" HOW CAN YOU GROW UP IN TWO MONTHS? "You're almost as tall as my son!" I am pretty tall, 5'8" _ (A/N: a little over 170 cm for you non-Americans out there) _to be exact. Yes, I take pride in my height. I've always loved being tall.

"Oh, speak of the devil," She continued. "Here's my son! You look about his age, you must know each other." Kill me now.

"I'm only a fourth year, Mrs. Potter," I remind her. Her son pipes up. "I've never seen you, you go to Hogwarts?" Time for my inconspicuous glare. "Yes," I say, with some edge. I'm so badass. In my mind. "I'm in Ravenclaw."

"James, she's in our Arithmancy class!" Whispered the booky one, a little too loudly. Now that I think about it, I was. It was then I notice that my mother and Mrs. Potter were at the other end of the backyard (or should I say field, this can't be classified as a backyard!) and I was in a bit of a faceoff with the boys.

At least I can stop acting cordial and proper, if I even was to begin with. I walked away, back to the food table. There was an awkward silence when the boys came up right beside me to get food. I was getting some chips and dip when James tapped his foot impatiently beside me.

"Hold on, you fool! Don't get your panties in a bunch," Slips out of my mouth. _Crap! _Why am I so mean? He looks startled, I guess he's not used to people, girls even less, not giving him what he wants. The long haired one laughs at his expression, Booky looks slightly amused, and the creeper looks angry that I adressed his master in such a way.

I decided this was the time to slip away. I start walking over to a chair. The long haired one asks loudly "Why is she humming James Bond?" Of all the times I hum James Bond...

_##_##_

_30 minutes later._

I have figured out the names by now, due to my epic eavesdropping ninja skills. Currently, I'm still sitting, on my third serving of chips. I'm surprised I'm not Jabba the Hut status by now, for I have sedentary ways.

"Penelope, why don't you go socialize, or dance?" My mum asks suddenly appearing. Dance? HAH!

"Mum, do I look like the dancing type?" I ask with a sarcastic tone. I feel so mean. Must be teenage angst kicking in.

"Well go socializing, then! Come on, Penelope. When you're my age, don't you want to still be on the social scene?" I have never, nor will I ever be on the social scene.

"If I talk to people will you get off my back?" I ask hopefully. Mum cackled.

"Of course I'll get off your back, whippersnapper," She said jokingly. Oh, mum has her funny moments. I grin up at her as she leaves, but it soon fades when I realize I have nobody to rub elbows with. Knowing Mum, she'll be watching me out of the corner of her eye. I'm screwed.

I try to spot out someone of Hogwarts age. I didn't have to look far, I was tapped on the shoulder by Sirius Black. "Why so lonely? You should be bothering Jamesie!" He grabbed my arm and ran over to the boys. FIRST OF ALL, I don't run; and SECOND OF ALL, this stranger is touching me!

When he stops a few meters away, I yank my arm away and attempt to glare holes through his head. He laughed. I guess it didn't work.

"Congratulations, you have fetched the nonbeliever," I start my escape. "Now if I can just slip past you..."

"If we heard correctly, mother dearest wants you to socialize," Said James. "Like fate, we are here to do so!"

"Stalker. Plus, I don't feel like socializing with a bunch of guys that are about two years older than me!" I really am getting over this whole Social Anxiety ordeal. My psychiatrist will be proud.

"We aren't stalkers!" James said. "Yes you are, James," Piped in Remus. "You stalk Lily, Lily's friends, Lily's boyfriends, Slytherins, and now her." He shook his head and went back to his book.

"Well alright then. The stalker thing was sort of a joke but I have been proven wrong by the almighty - Remus, right? - The almighty Remus!" Remus grinned with his face still in his book.

"All praise Remus! Bow down to his majesty!" James yelled jokingly. Peter actually got down on the ground and started worshipping him. He was a bit too close to me, I had to take a few steps back. My face must have looked like this - O.O

"Wormtail," Said Sirius, amused but trying to get him to stop. "Wormtail, you're scaring the girl. WORMTAIL!" Peter got up, his face turned bright red and her slipped back into his place. Remus laughed nervously, obviously scared by his little worship session. I wonder if he prays to them?

"I'm just gonna go now," I say. "It was interesting talking to you." I skipped (yes, I literally skipped) down to my seat and plopped beside the rest of my chips. This was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2  Galactic Wildlife

_OH WOW. It took so long to update. I apologize. I was trying (and failing) to write a train scene. Galactic wildlife. Whoop! Oh, and to everyone who reviewed, followed, and (gasp!) FAVORITED my story: I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHKDLGOFGHOH! I freaked when I got my first review EVER. _

"Stevenson, Madeline."

_Dear Merlin, _I hate sortings. Playing with my nails, playing with my cuticles, la-di-da-di-da. I'm extremely hungry. I _would _get food from the trolley, but the new woman is sketchy. She's not like the old trolley lady; she's jolly and enjoys giggling.

Nutter.

"Wales, Clark."

Well, since we're already at the W's, that means... FOOD! Then, some more time to stare blankly at a wall during Dumbledore's speech. The only redeeming fact is that I'll have food. I'm getting giggly just thinking about it!

"Zuri, Corinne."

What kind of last name is Zuri? It sounds like one of those names from Olive's gigantic anime collection. Do you know Olive? Of course you do, you're my mind! Refresher course: Olive is that one girl I do everything with. You know, the one from Gryffindor that I met when I was seven? Also known as my best friend... Asian, amazing hair, brother in Ravenclaw, last name Chang? That one.

"Let the feast begin!"

Time to om nom nom, kids. "Salazar's sweaty sack, FINALLY!" Salazar's sweaty _sack? _Great image.

"DEUUEAUGH! Sweet Circe, Raymond, I'm _eating,_" said Jamie. She was one of those Sirius Black fangirls who gave the female population of Ravenclaw a bad name. They run around with their push-up bras and clumpy mascara. Mascara, the vilest of all cosmetics.

I digress.

"So what did you guys do over break?" Jamie asked the collective Ravenclaws, sans me (and possibly Moe a.k.a. Raymond). This was rather uncomfortable. At least tomorrow I can sit over at the Gryffindor table with Olive, Moe, Forrest, and possibly Gid and Fabe. I can't bear to sit with these mediocre dunces!

_(A/N: My Immortal reference!)_

Four girls. All with bleached hair, thick makeup, and a knack for making love potions. God help us all.

"_I _went to France," Said Mary. Also known as Nightmary, in the confines of my brain. Resident idiot of Ravenclaw. She's a complete dumbass, but most of us think she heard that we were the most popular (how wrong was she?) so she _seduced _the Sorting Hat (a mere first year seducing a talking hat, mind you) into putting her into Ravenclaw. I wouldn't be surprised if it was true. "Mother bought me a whole new wardrobe from this adorable boutique..."

Maybe I can just take this butter knife and -

"Oh, _hi Sirius! _Hi James! Hi Remus!" The Terrible Four shrieked. Good Godric, this knife just seems better and better.

"Oh, um, hey Mary, Catherine, Dianne, and... Jane," Said Sirius. HOLY HELGA. HE GOT HER NAME WRONG.

Shit just got real.

Jamie looked like he had slapped her. Hell, _all _of them looked as if they've been slapped. This is truly too good for my own health. She burst into tears.

Moe and I had to clamp our hands over our mouths in order not to explode with laughter. No, _implode _with laughter. Sirius looked slightly scared, and was about to continue on his merry way to the slutty fifth year just down the way when James said, "Hey, it's Penelope! How's our favorite oddity of Ravenclaw?" He asked as he ruffled my hair. Not much of a loss, I didn't exactly brush it today.

I just care _that much._

"I've never met you in my life," I said bluntly. Were they trying to get those girls to kill me? James just laughed.

"Oh _you!_" Okay, really? I've met you once, you guys just made a girl cry, and you act like we're old college buddies? This isn't Mary-Sue land, son. It doesn't work that way!

The three girls who weren't bawling glared holes through me. All of this over someone saying "hi" to me? Okay... Okay.

The four boys continued on there path as the terrible four continued to glare at me and whisper behind their hands. Probably plotting my death, but I have no fear. They're too stupid to make a plan like that. Moe looked at me questioningly with a small smirk on his lips.

_How do you know them? _He mouthed slowly, pointing behind him to the boys.

They were at a stupid dinner party that my mom forced me to go to, I mouthed back.

_You know they are going to kill you, right?_

They may try but they won't succeed.

_You guys live together..._

Do you really think they can get me? I have the power of indifference!

_Of what?_

In-dif-fer-ence.

_Huh?_

"INDIFFERENCE!" I whisper-shouted. A few surrounding kids with an acute sense of hearing looked at me. I probably looked crazy; with unbrushed hair, sleepy eyes, and, to top it off, I was whispering "indifference" during Dumbledore's speech.

Moe tried not to laugh and once again clapped his hand over his mouth.

It's really not that funny.

( *-* )

I sat in my bed with the curtains drawn, drowning out the sound of Dianne talking about how "cute" Amos Diggory's butt was. Honestly, how is a butt cute?

It's times like these when I ponder the many mysteries of life: cute butts, future meals, and who came up with the selection of sandwich ingredients. Who ever thought to put peanut butter and jelly on bread?

I wonder who the new DADA professor will be. Our last professor was pretty chill, but he got busted for certain illegal substances. Ah, wonderful hippies. A lot of people didn't like him because he didn't show up for lessons at least once a week. How I miss him...

I'm also pretty nervous about tomorrow's Arithmancy class. I heard that David Edgecombe decided to stay in his normal class, so it'll just be Moe and me in a sea of 16 year olds.

I'm getting pretty tired, I wonder what time it is...

Oh, wow. It's 11:47. Hopefully those imbeciles don't set their alarms for 6:00 again so they can get beautiful. If I have to wake up before 7:00, I will eat their families. Really, you only need an hour to get ready, people!

( *-* )

_6:00 a.m. of the next day._

*BEEP, BEEP*

"I will kill you all."

( *-* )

_I hate this chapter, but I REALLY needed to update. So sorry for this crap taco. I've finally introduced most characters so we can get on with the flowy plotty stuff. Yayface!_

_By the way, I don't own Harry Potter. Just those select few characters. I'm sure you knew that, but just making sure. _

_**Reviewers:**_

_**RuuunItsJasmine - This was my first review... AND IT WAS AMAZING! :3 Thank you so much!**_

_**GirlWithABook - Really? Oh, you. xD Thanks!**_


	3. Chapter 3 Being productive

_It's almost 11 on a school night. I really wanted to get this out, so please ignore any grammar of spelling mistakes. I write this mostly on my iPod!_

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><p>"We have study hall together," Olive commented offhandedly. "Third, fourth, and sixth years." Thank god, last time I had study hall was in September. Allow me to say that even if they're in first year, Slytherins are bloody terrifying.<p>

Wait, sixth?

"Oh God."

"Penelope," whispered Moe. "When did the first Goblin war end?" I'm beginning to think I'm the only one who takes notes in History of Magic. Scratch that, I'm the only one who even pays attention in that class.

"Just take my notes, I don't even care if you fail your exams anymore," I muttered.

Moe mumbled something about me being a life saver. He and Olive hunched over my many pages of notes, frantically scribbling away at their essays. I often wonder how Moe got into Ravenclaw.

Suddenly, balled up parchment hit the back of my head. I hastily, and slightly angrily, unfolded the paper. Probably some sixth year Gryffindor making fun of the "Ravenclaw nerd weirdo" as one so kindly put it.

"Penelope! You've been avoiding me. -Sirius"

Really? I didn't realize it. I scribbled back a quick note; he would probably keep pestering me until I did so anyway.

"I don't know you well at all, so..."

I had just gotten refocused when Moe asked me yet another question. How that boy got into Ravenclaw, I don't know.

"Hey, Penelope. Can I get the second page of notes?"

"Dude, I gave you my notebook. Just turn the page."

Moe blushed when Olive giggled at him. I'll cut the guy some slack, I mean he is insanely in love with Olive. So much so, he gets kind of off around her.

Poor Moe.

I had started to get back into the groove of my work when I was distracted once again. I think today God must've thought "Penelope shouldn't be productive today. Make it happen, Sirius and Raymond."

The crumpled note had landed in my lap. I hastily unfolded it, accidently tearing it a little. Oh well.

"I think we have a blossoming friendship."

I think his ass will be blossoming when I shove my foot in it.

Deciding not to reply this time, I crumpled the torn paper back up and threw it at Moe, who was making googley eyes at Olive. That boy.

Suddenly, someone sat beside me.

"If that's Sirius, so help me God," I began, but stopped when I saw a familiar gangly figure with dirty blonde hair.

"Sirius Black? Striking resemblance, I know."

"Shut up. I haven't seen you all year, I was beginning to think you've forgotten this little group."

Forrest smiled. "How could I forget my biggest fans?" I cringed as he pulled me into a hug. I've never been much of a human contact type of person, but Forrest was the hug-whore.

"Hug-whore," I mumbled as I escaped his iron vice.

"Language, Penelope Diana," Olive whispered, not even looking up from her outline. I hate my middle name. My mom has this weird obsession with Roman and Greek names and mythology. Diana was the goddess of the hunt. Penelope Diana Walker. Beautiful, right?

"So, Forrest. Where were you for the past month? Busy being a tool?" Olive asked coldly, finally looking up from her work. In the eyes of most, she was expressionless. But I could see that angry glint in her eye.

Forrest rubbed the back of his head and laughed nervously. The sound attracted Professor Slughorn, who took away five points.

"Uh, Olive. Hey. Wh-what information on the armor used in the war did you get?" Moe, being the peacemaker in all situations involving Olive and Forrest, tried to distract her.

She kept her eyes glued on the boy beside me, obviously waiting for an answer.

"Olivia, why can't we just be friends again?" And this is my cue to not listen to the ticking time bomb.

"So Moe, about goblin armor-" I started as I was suddenly cut off by someone sitting on the other side of me.

"Penelope! And who is your strapping friend?" I turned to see the smirking face of Sirius Black.

"Sorry, but he doesn't swing that way. Now please get off my charms notes."

In the background you could her Olive whisper-yelling at Forrest about how much he's changed and what not.

"What's going on back there?" Asked Sirius, completely ignoring my previous comment.

"Olive's yelling at a guy who deserves to be yelled at."

"That sounds nice. So Penelope," Sirius said in a self-important tone. "I would like to invite you to sit with the four most handsome, most charming, smartest boys at Hogwarts."

"Peter doesn't fit into any of those categories."

"Well you're still invited to sit with us!"

"It doesn't sound too great, I must admit."

Sirius pulled a puppy dog face. Defenses... Weakening...

"Okay fine." I snapped under pressure. What can I say? I'm obviously not a Gryffindor. "Fine, fine."

"Wait. Hold on, Penelope. You're going off with Hogwarts' resident 'hotties' while I'm left alone at a table with these two?"

"Hotties? Whoa, Moe. I thought you didn't like boys. Oh, and Sirius? I'm bringing Moe."

"Whatever. Hey, here comes James!"

God, no.

"Penelope, my wonderful nerdy acquaintance, is Sirius bothering you?" Like he's going to help.

"Can you both just go away?" Honestly, it's study hall. I'm surprised McGonagall hasn't had me head yet.

Witty banter ensued. By witty banter, I mean they pestered me and I came up with creative ways to murder them. It may sound harsh, but I hate all of these looks I'm getting because of these two.

This caught the attention of Forrest, who began ignoring everything Olive was going on about and staring at us. Finally, he spoke up.

"I don't understand why you're mad at me for something this petty when Penelope's cozy with the Marauders now." I. Cannot. Believe him. This is a new low, even for him.

***FLASHBACK TO THE SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL***

"I hate school with every fiber of my being," I said as I collapsed at the Gryffindor table with Olive and Moe.

"We've only been here for a day, dearie."

"Shut it, Olivia."

"Irony," Moe interjected.

"What?"

"Well, usually the Gryffindors are all 'yeah party hard' and the Ravenclaws are all 'yeah study hard', but it seems the two of you have switched places."

"When have I ever partied? Hard, for that matter?"

Moe seemed defeated as he stuffed his face with bacon. Sweet Merlin, I love bacon.

"Have you guys seen Forrest?" Asked Olivia.

Moe and I shared a look, simultaneously devouring the bacon. We saw him alright.

***FLASHBACK TO THAT MORNING, AFTER BREAKFAST YET BEFORE CLASSES (FLASHBACKCEPTION, GUYS)***

Moe and I had most of the same classes, as always. First up was Transfiguration.

We were walking through the hallway when a tall, gangly blonde boy walked past us with three slags known as my house mates.

"Is Forrest really chatting up those bikes?" Asked Moe.

"Bikes?"

"Everyone gets a ride," he said simply.

Then a synchronized "OOOOHHHHH!" followed by a high-five proceeded.

"Hey, Forrest! Haven't seen you all summer!" Moe called out.

"Forrest looked at the both of us like he didn't even recognize two of his best friends. The bikes laughed patronizingly in our direction and walked on with him.

I'm going to wring his neck.

***END OF FLASHBACK WITHIN FLASHBACK***

"Haven't seen him," I said as coolly as possible. If he was going to pretend not to know us, I was going to pretend not to know him.

Moe looked uneasy. Dear Merlin, please don't let her recognize that look. If anyone can get anything out of that boy, it's Olive.

"Moe?" Olive asked with a slight pout. Here we go again.

"Y-yes?"

Olive flipped her hair and supported her head with an elbow dangerous close to Moe's bacon.

"Have you seen him?"

And then Moe told the whole story. Damn him.

***END OF ALL FLASHBACKS AND CHAPTER***

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><p><em>I'm going to stop apologizing for my absences; none of you care. Anyways, I hope you like this long overdue chapter. It's not always easy writing, not only do you have to come up with an idea, but you also must find the time between school and schoolwork to write it.<em>

_I still don't own Harry Potter. _

_**REVIEWERS:**_

_**mEEm – I'm glad you like my story, I feel as though my real life insecurities transfer over into my writings sometimes.**_

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_**Black Roses Wilt – Please keep reading even though I didn't update very fast ;-;**_

_** – Thank you, writing these things can take time and be a little stressful.**_

_**shut away – Oh yes I'm hilarious! WOO!**_


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